the wandering nerve

the fiery rush trickles

down the side of my neck

i wish my vision could clear up

so i could see what i have left

flashing lights put on a show

but i can’t see what lies beneath

the things hidden by my hungry nerves

and my bloodthirsty body

my conscience babbles to itself

about the things i left behind

sometimes the tributes are bright

sometimes they shout and are unkind

the feeling rises in my chest again

an empty, unwarranted, vicious dread

am i overanalyzing this, or is my brain dead

maybe thats why i fly sky high

while like a brick in this bed

i take a deep breath, i close my eyes

and chase the clouds out from under my mind

i need to find a way to get out of my head

i need to live inside of my body instead

but that was out of the question years ago

or was it hours ago, maybe seconds ago

my eyes flit from my clock to my bedroom door

i realize that i have nowhere left to go

trapped in the town that i call my home

but my thoughts have taken a train to stockholm

just add this place to the list of my halfway lovers

the ones that i still battle undercover

it's a reflex for me to bite my tongue

with a twitch of my jaw, no more words will come out.

no more mistakes will break free through my mouth

my mind is their prison, my soul is their house

my eyelids flutter and my soul caves in

this fiery rush is vicious, and it always wins

the stars in my eyes that you can’t see

will soon be taking over me